Crazy Tracy writes on life, the week Bush was re-elected for a second term.
I read this not long ago and was simultaneously saddened by the tragedy that was Bush's reign and hopeful of a future that begins with Obama.
In Aus, a little removed from the political climate of the US and the hype that surrounded Obama in the lead up to his election, I felt that really, it was a bit of an over-reaction. He's not perfect, he's still fairly conservative by most standards and well, I just couldn't get ecstatic about him. But when I read this, it really hit me - the wonderful change that he represents, the step forward Americans took when they voted for him, what his election means to so many people - those downtrodden, ignored and persecuted by Bush.
January 20, 2005
I joined that little "not one thin dime" Internet movement--the one where you protest the exorbitant cost of The Shrub's inauguration by not spending any money today. I've also had to ban TV because it seems every station in the free world feels it necessary to air every little fucking detail of this ass-lickin' prick's swearing in. It's true...I find it nearly impossible to be objective when it comes to this mother fucker. If he had any fucking class at all, he'd refuse to accept donations for parties and parades and balls (too bad he can't buy a set for himself) out of respect for our soldiers fighting and dying in Iraq. He'd not be so goddamned entitled and smug. He'd not blatantly disregard the humility so needed right now.
But he has no class...sans one. His. Right wing, God fearing, rich Christian white people.
I'm still so disillusioned with my country. Never before in my life have I felt so disenfranchised. Never before have I felt so like an orphan. There is no place in this country for me. There is no gentle, parental leader watching over me. There is no feeling of security or safety or acceptance. I constantly feel as if I'm about to be uprooted and sent to foster care, that my family will be torn apart, that my religion will be attacked, that my very livelihood will be threatened and destroyed. Gay, female, unmarried, Democrat...an outcast, a step-child tolerated because my existence is a reality that people must deal with, not because they want to, but because they have to.
I used to feel that it would be impossible to be sent away, to be corralled and cordoned off from society. I used to feel that what happened under Hitler's regime could NEVER, EVER, EVER happen here. I don't feel that way anymore. I feel scared. I feel exposed. I feel vulnerable. I have been engulfed of late with a feeling of absolute global disconnection. This is new to me on such a level. I have battled all my life with the feeling of separateness...on an intimate, personal scale (with my family, friends, partner). It is a feeling that I am just now getting adept at dealing with. But this thing...this large and looming fear of my country and the people who run it...well, it is sometimes enough to make me fear for my life. It may be dramatic, but so was the Holocaust. It was true nevertheless.
It used to be impossible to imagine, even when I considered that it had happened before, that they could one day come for me, take all my things, send my child away, strip me of my identity and crucify me for being who I am....but it's not hard to imagine anymore. As America becomes more and more fanatically religious, I become more and more of a threat to Her. I become the interloper, the thief, the rapist and the whore. I am the Jew. And George W. Bush, Jr and his regime are the SS.
Something so incredibly hard to believe is often not believed. They thought that about the Nazi Death Camps. "It's impossible! Who would allow that to happen? Who could do that? Why would the entire country go along with something like that? Somebody would stop it!" But it wasn't impossible. It was allowed to happen. Ordinary men did those things. And nobody stopped them for a very, very long time. Because we couldn't believe it was happening.
I would've believed it. I've seen evil. I've seen it fester and spawn. I've seen it move in casual ways through ordinary circles. The Shrub is always talking about "evil doers." He wants to find them. He wants to rid the world of their pestilence. All he really need do is look into the mirror.
I, for one, will not look at his face today. I cannot bear the smile. I cannot bear the cockiness. I cannot abide watching. I'll be in my room, in the corner, curled up in a fetal position with my hands over my eyes.