SNIPER

MacKenzie Philips (in the flesh)

2009-11-04T13:04:00.002+11:00

Looks like Australian TV finally decided to air the MacKenzie Phillips episode of Oprah.
It's so hard to watch, she's so vulnerable.
She's talking, and I can see now why people questioned the whole 'reveal.' Oprah is so straightforward and casual, and MacKenzie is holding her shit together, using actual words, which is admirable, but misleading.

Are people really so blind? Do they not realise that the only way to talk about painful or difficult things is to remove yourself, to just talk, use words. You're expected to break down, cry, shake, show emotion, but if you do that, you'll rip yourself apart, so you hold your shit together. Oprah, she's direct, and she's cool, and that speaks volumes of her own past experiences.

I see all this, and I see now how easy it was for so many people to interpret her situation the way they did, and it frustrates me, because people have so little empathy and that's not something that's easy to change.

The Reason Behind It All

2009-10-07T13:24:00.006+11:00

Last night I had the most horrific nightmare.

Too many films and articles and stories of rape, sex trafficking and forced prostitution seem to have seeped into my subconscious which decided to put me through horrors in my sleep I've never experienced in waking life.

When I woke up it hit me rather hard (I'm still feeling a little bruised) that this is exactly why so many women put up with anti-feminist sledging and the hassles of being the so-called 'fun police.'

Because this is the stuff at the heart of it all. All our theorizing, all our whining and weary explanations of why rape jokes aren't funny and sexist advertising is offensive - this, THIS is why we bother.

Because every day, in every country women* go through unimaginable ordeals, the stuff of nightmares, fear and pain worse than anything even my subconscious can conjure up, and the only way to stop it is to continue to get angry, to continue to be the fun police and continue to explain to people why rape jokes AREN'T FUNNY.

I really just wanted to express my ardent love and admiration for all the women who persevere in this quest, despite the unpleasant side effects.

And in particular these women (and a few men), who remind me of this quest every day:

Sady Doyle
Cara Kulwicki
Les Feministes
Melissa McEwan and the Shakers
The Harpys
The Evil Slut Clique

Love, chlamydia and hobbit feet my dears, xx.

*Yes women. I know men are also victims of sex-related crimes but I'm a little bit tired of being politically correct about including them when as a whole they seem to remain frustratingly unsympathetic towards humanist ideals. The fact remains that women form the majority of the abused, and men form the majority of the abusers, for goodness sake accept it, and instead of arguing over the unfairness of generalizations, how 'bout you do something to change it.

This Crazy Notion of Mine

2009-10-03T18:22:00.005+10:00

I've had this notion for quite some time now, and its lately been compounded by two events; discovering (via The Curvature) this blog on disability and reading this post on life before and after the personal discovery of feminism.

This notion, is that learning about feminism makes you a better person.
It very quickly came to my attention when I delved into the madness that is the feminist blogging culture, that feminists overwhelming tend to also be gay rights activists, race equality activists and heavily into equality for the disabled. Maybe it seems logical to you that minority causes would stick together like this but I really don't think that's the only reason, or even the main one and this is why:

My first encounter with feminism was with a rage-filled sister, newly introduced to feminist theory and culture through her gender studies class, hers was a fiery, Sheila Jeffreys inspired baptism. She earnestly related to me her new found ideals, pouring hard-line feminist vitriol all over my utterly ideal-less slate. I was studying a science degree and the culture I had spent two years at university assimilating was generally focused on beer. I rebelled. It was too much, too different, too challenging. I couldn't wrap my head around ideas so different from my socially constructed world in which I cared a lot more about what high heels cost than whether or not they were a tool of THE PATRIACHY. And whatever the cause, I simply could not embrace the decision to admit that I was wrong. Wrong in my ignorance, wrong in my acceptance, wrong in my perpetuation of THE PATRIACHY. But my sister persevered, and, in not such a long space of time, I came to see things the way she did. And once our initial the-world-is-an-evil-manland-and-i-must-change-everything-now passion subsided into a calmer understanding, THE PATRIACHY became just The Patriachy and we began to apply more practical codes of living to our ideals.*

But I seem to have wandered down the path of nostalgia - my point was that, "I simply could not embrace the decision to admit that I was wrong. Wrong in my ignorance, wrong in my acceptance, wrong in my perpetuation..."

Now, whenever I am faced with a scenario of racism, able-ism or any other 'ism', and I begin to think to myself, 'they are exaggerating', or, 'yes but they're different', or, 'but I don't do that, because I am open-minded and awesome', I recall this rebellion and realize that I am behaving the same way non-feminists do when they are frustrating the hell out of me. They are refusing to listen, leaning back on what they know, what is easy and what keeps things in order. They don't want to feel guilty, and they don't want to look so hard at a society that treats them so well.

Neither do I and that is why I have to push myself, have to always second guess my initial reaction to these scenarios, why I educate myself as much as possible, why I try so hard to trust the claims of injustice from other groups in the way that I wish men (and women) would trust mine. And god do I get tired of it.

(It doesn't just extend to minority causes either, I find many feminists also involved in environmental movements, animal rights efforts, criminal politics, general human rights... it's not a coincidence, each cause brings new insight and understanding to the next. I was convinced of vegetarianism via feminist theory, go figure.)

There are so many things to be open-minded about, my mind just isn't big enough, I tell you, it won't all fit. When you include the unfairness and the sickening persecution at the hands of sexists, racists, able-ists and fuckwits, its overwhelming, and working to avoid being part of any of those groups is hard. Working to try and convince others to avoid it is even harder; its damn near impossible and so devastatingly frustrating that I barely see the point at all. But I have to keep at it, because as tiring as it may be, ideals are like heroin, and once you try it, even if it fucks up your life, its awfully hard to stop.

*I may have stopped screaming at someone every time they say something sexist, but my rage has barely cooled in that area, I'm just better at controlling it.

Fame plus Time equals Amnesty

2009-10-01T17:39:00.004+10:00

A friend of mine recently wrote (on facebook) about the Roman Polanski situation. In the briefest of terms the situation is this:

Roman Polanski (world renowned director) was charged and convicted of the rape of a 13yr old girl in the US in the 70's. He served 42 days before being fleeing the country prior to being sentenced. The defense presented the usual 'she consented' argument and Polanski pleaded guilty to statutory rape.

This friend, is generally very sympathetic to my feminist musings (and is also very intelligent and very pretty.) But this friend hesitates over the issue of consent, and the seriousness of statutory rape vs. rape. In particular she mentions -

The girl said at the time that she said "no" a few times, but other witnesses for Polanski indicate that she seemed willing and "all over him". I'm happy to assume she did say no but the fact is he was not convicted of rape so he cannot be sentenced as if he was. Furthermore it appears that he did believe she was of age, a belief encouraged by her mother.

She finds herself conflicted, as many do, over his responsibility in the crime and generally comes to the conclusion that he should receive a suspended sentence or probation. While I can definitely see how she has reached these conclusions, I whole-heartedly disagree with them.

In response:

First up, it's rape, regardless of consent etc., sex with a a minor is illegal, and minors, by law cannot consent to sex with an adult. Not knowing the age of the minor does not excuse you from the legal complications. All of this is without debate.

Second, in regards to consent - all of those things, that she was all over him, that she looked older, that her mother encouraged it, they are lines of defense tried and tested by men (and women) for decades and I'm sick of hearing them, if the circumstances of consent are shady, then the likelihood that she was not fully consenting is very high. If he was sticking his cock in her while she was hesitating about the situation but not kicking and screaming, she was not 'consenting' she was confused (and at 13 ,in the presence of a celebrity who she was in awe of - probably way out of her depth.)Consent is not the absence of vocal distress or physical resistance, it implies WILLINGNESS, not just a lack of objection. So it's rape, whether the issue of consent is less defined for you or not, it's still rape by law, at the very least, stat rape, which he was charged with and pleaded guilty to.

So what to do with him? I understand the fleeing, fuck, his life was about to be ruined, I'd have a shot at fleeing too (although how he thought he'd get away with it completely is beyond me.) I don't think it's necessary to further punish him for that, but then I don't really care either. It was 30 years ago? I don't care. 30 years ago he raped a 13 year old girl. Time doesn't make it go away, I don't think it should make a single bit of difference. The only deterrent I can see to forcing him to serve time is the calls from the girl that the whole thing be dropped. If anyone even remembers at this point - she's the one whose life has been fucked by this, not his. She's the victim and the one everyone is supposed to be trying to help, not the guy who abused her. Everyone deserves compassion, and he's not a serial rapist, nor does he seem particularly violent, but that doesn't change what he did - imagine if you or your 13yr old daughter was raped and the cunt that did it didn't have to serve time because, well, he was a pretty good guy generally and you know, it was all a mistake. Fuck off.

The only reason this is even an issue is because he's famous (and brilliant) - the same thing is happening with John MacKenzie currently (singer from The Mama's and Papa's who drugged and raped his daughter over a 10 year period) no-one wants to think badly of them because THEY are attached to their idea of these people as brilliant benevolent artists, they don't want to think badly of them because it makes them uncomfortable - how selfish is that? 'I'm sorry you were raped and abused, but look, I really like this song/film and I don't want to have to feel uncomfortable when I hear/see it, so we're just going to have to ignore your pain okay?'

Again, 13 yr old girl = VICTIM. Why is there even discussion regarding Polanski as a person, it doesn't matter. It's blatant discrimination - you can be sure that if the rapist were black, Arab, poor or anything other than a white upper class male (or probably female) in an idealized industry there would be no discussion. Seriously, why is there even sympathy for Polanski? He raped a girl, where is the public sympathy for HER? At the very most he deserves compassion, but certainly not respect or public support.

So if we're looking at what's best for the victim - then maybe the charged should be dropped as that's what she seems to want? Perhaps. Or perhaps that sends completely the wrong message - do you really want to set precedent that says rape is sometimes okay, under the right circumstances? That says famous white men can get away with sex crimes? That says if you flee sentencing, time will erase your crime?

Maybe he's sorry, maybe he really is a great guy who made a mistake, maybe every circumstance was in his favor, maybe he's tried to make amends. Is any or all of that worth the implications of letting him off?

MacKenzie Philips....Sigh

2009-09-26T17:31:00.002+10:00

After reading far too much on Mackenzie Phillips (especially this piece by Sady) I have this to add.

Are some people just missing the part of their brain chemistry that says, see that person, yes that person there, the one you sired, and cared for as a small child and supposedly still love and care for very much? Yes? You should NOT TOUCH THEM IN THE PANTS.

I understand that it’s difficult to shift your ideas about people you’ve felt a great affection for over the years (John Phillips) as a musician, and possibly as an ideal type of man. I get that you can be unwilling to give up the comfort that people gain from idealizing celebrities, when the real world seems so imperfect, so I don’t expect you to hate John Phillips for his actions, I don’t expect you to so easily change your feelings for him. What i expect you to do is admit that what he did was WRONG and rather MESSED-UP and that Mackenzie is a VICTIM in this situation who was ABUSED by one John Phillips. Whether you want to blame drugs, or mental illness, whether or not you can bear to hold him fully accountable in your mind, you must at least admit and accept that he abused her and it was wrong.

The idea that a daughter can consent to sexual relations with her father is so absurd I don’t know how it’s even considered. It’s such a complex dynamic in terms of power, responsibility, love and sexuality that my mind boggles at the very idea of it.

Consent implies willingness, not just a lack of objection. How this concept continues to escape people is beyond me.

Soy Is Making Your Kids Gay - THE HORROR!

2009-08-31T11:10:00.004+10:00

John Rutz' Article in bold, interspersed with rant.

There's a slow poison out there that's severely damaging our children and threatening to tear apart our culture. The ironic part is, it's a "health food," one of our most popular.

That's not alarmist at ALL.

Now, I'm a health-food guy, a fanatic who seldom allows anything into his kitchen unless it's organic. I state my bias here just so you'll know I'm not anti-health food.

Sure. You're also an arrogant dick who uses the sub-heading "Exclusive Commentary" to title his tiny insignificant corner of the blogosphere.* I state my bias here just so you know I'm anti-arrogant dick.

The dangerous food I'm speaking of is soy. Soybean products are feminizing, and they're all over the place. You can hardly escape them anymore.

Yep, it's virtually IMPOSSIBLE to avoid products containing soy. I couldn't be arsed looking up reliable statistics so I just went to the supermarket, and REMARKABLY managed to fill a trolley with completely soy-free products. Even products free from the friendly forms Rutz' lists later in this articulate and informative prose.

I have nothing against an occasional soy snack. Soy is nutritious and contains lots of good things. Unfortunately, when you eat or drink a lot of soy stuff, you're also getting substantial quantities of estrogens.

OH NO, ESTROGENS!!!!!!!!!

Estrogens are female hormones. If you're a woman, you're flooding your system with a substance it can't handle in surplus.

INCORRECT, the female (and male) body has many ways of dealing with excess estrogen, and unsurprisingly, excess nearly everything.

If you're a man, you're suppressing your masculinity and stimulating your "female side," physically and mentally.

And I hate to be repetitive but

INCORRECT.
If you will, please envisage the scientist in me shrivel and die while the feminist bit of me simultaneously explodes in a shower of flesh bleeding flesh and righteous anger.

In fetal development, the default is being female.

Correct.

All humans (even in old age) tend toward femininity. The main thing that keeps men from diverging into the female pattern is testosterone, and testosterone is suppressed by an excess of estrogen.

We're wavering from the path of 'correct' here, but sure.

If you're a grownup, you're already developed, and you're able to fight off some of the damaging effects of soy. Babies aren't so fortunate. Research is now showing that when you feed your baby soy formula, you're giving him or her the equivalent of five birth control pills a day. A baby's endocrine system just can't cope with that kind of massive assault, so some damage is inevitable. At the extreme, the damage can be fatal.

No.
The correlation between the amounts of estrogen in birth control pills and soy is.........nowhere near that. not even close. Not even when calculated in the tiny, wizened mind of Rutz.
Also, birth control pills are not just pure estrogen. Nor does soy contain pure estrogen, or even estrogen. It's genistein, a phytoestrogen, which are produced by plants and mimic the action of estrogens at the body's estrogen receptors.

Shit, you mean that my hyperbolic claims are so badly researched and just completely fucking wrong that I couldn't even get the SUBJECT of my contention RIGHT? WHAT KIND OF IMBECILE AM I?

Soy is feminizing, and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis, sexual confusion and homosexuality.

If you would be so kind as to re-envisage the explosion of my poor, already fragmented, theoretical body.

That's why most of the medical (not socio-spiritual) blame for today's rise in homosexuality must fall upon the rise in soy formula and other soy products.

Whose blame? Did you say 'medical' blame? Oh, that must be the one, single, medical source you cited in your article. No? Not even one?

(Most babies are bottle-fed during some part of their infancy, and one-fourth of them are getting soy milk!) Homosexuals often argue that their homosexuality is inborn because "I can't remember a time when I wasn't homosexual." No, homosexuality is always deviant. But now many of them can truthfully say that they can't remember a time when excess estrogen wasn't influencing them.

I don't have anything left to detonate, and so you may just weep quietly over the charred remains of my flesh.

Doctors used to hope soy would reduce hot flashes, prevent cancer and heart disease, and save millions in the Third World from starvation. That was before they knew much about long-term soy use. Now we know it's a classic example of a cure that's worse than the disease. For example, if your baby gets colic from cow's milk, do you switch him to soy milk? Don't even think about it. His phytoestrogen level will jump to 20 times normal. If he is a she, brace yourself for watching her reach menarche as young as seven, robbing her of years of childhood. If he is a boy, it's far worse: He may not reach puberty till much later than normal.

Oh look, he subtly and without explanation changed from the terminology of 'estrogen' to 'phytoestrogen.'
And you're right, it'd be far, far worse for a boy to develop later than a girl to develop earlier. That's an easy, uncomplicated, non-culture specific generalization to make.

Research in 2000 showed that a soy-based diet at any age can lead to a weak thyroid, which commonly produces heart problems and excess fat. Could this explain the dramatic increase in obesity today?

Yep. Today's obese western society can be solely attributed to the rise of soy-based products. It has nothing to do with poor education, fast food conglomerates or sedentary culture. It is definitely those following a soy-based diet that are contributing to the vast numbers of the obese in America, It's tofu, not frozen dinners that can be held responsible. Fucking hippies.

Recent research on rats shows testicular atrophy, infertility and uterus hypertrophy (enlargement). This helps explain the infertility epidemic and the sudden growth in fertility clinics. But alas, by the time a soy-damaged infant has grown to adulthood and wants to marry, it's too late to get fixed by a fertility clinic.

Worse, there's now scientific evidence that estrogen ingredients in soy products may be boosting the rapidly rising incidence of leukemia in children. In the latest year we have numbers for, new cases in the U.S. jumped 27 percent. In one year!

There's also a serious connection between soy and cancer in adults – especially breast cancer. That's why the governments of Israel, the UK, France and New Zealand are already cracking down hard on soy.

In sad contrast, 60 percent of the refined foods in U.S. supermarkets now contain soy. Worse, soy use may double in the next few years because (last I heard) the out-of-touch medicrats in the FDA hierarchy are considering allowing manufacturers of cereal, energy bars, fake milk, fake yogurt, etc., to claim that "soy prevents cancer." It doesn't.

WHERE? WHERE IS THIS RESEARCH?

And now we're talking about 'estrogen ingredients' whatever they are.

Leukemia and Estrogen are linked you say?
I took the liberty of asking Google:
Apparently they are - Oh wait, they're linked, but not as cause and effect. See for yourself. (An actual reference? OUTRAGEOUS.)

New Zealand is cracking down on Soy? Well THANK GOODNESS, we shall all be saved from the tofu-loving cancer weasels.

I am so glad that we have you John Rutz, to alert us to the FDA's conspiracy to give us all cancer, and provide us with such a well-researched expert contradiction to their naive contentions. "It doesn't." What a closer.

P.S.: Soy sauce is fine. Unlike soy milk, it's perfectly safe because it's fermented, which changes its molecular structure. Miso, natto and tempeh are also OK, but avoid tofu.

Glad we cleared that up.

If you google anything you will find conspiracy theories and fan sites.

I read a thoroughly non-comprehensive 18-20 articles about the 'dangers of soy' to decide if this guy was completely wrong as well as a douchebag, and I come to the following conclusion - sans references in keeping with Rutz' style:

Soy, like EVERY OTHER FOODSTUFF CONTAINING ANY FORM OF NUTRIENT, is bad for you in high quantities.

So don't eat 700g of pure soy product per day. Because that's about the level you need for it to do anything negative to you body, which in fact, will not be to FEMINIZE YOU.

I actually found more articles claiming that because geinstein acts on estrogen receptors, it prevents the uptake of human estrogen and in fact has the complete opposite effect. This may or may not be correct, but it makes a bit of sense.

And in my extreme medical wisdom I'd like to declare that even ingesting 7kg of tofu per day WONT MAKE YOU GAY.

*I just used the word blogosphere, shoot me.

Bush's Legacy of Fear

2009-07-15T19:06:00.000+10:00

Crazy Tracy writes on life, the week Bush was re-elected for a second term.

I read this not long ago and was simultaneously saddened by the tragedy that was Bush's reign and hopeful of a future that begins with Obama.

In Aus, a little removed from the political climate of the US and the hype that surrounded Obama in the lead up to his election, I felt that really, it was a bit of an over-reaction. He's not perfect, he's still fairly conservative by most standards and well, I just couldn't get ecstatic about him. But when I read this, it really hit me - the wonderful change that he represents, the step forward Americans took when they voted for him, what his election means to so many people - those downtrodden, ignored and persecuted by Bush.

January 20, 2005

POMP(OUSNESS)

I joined that little "not one thin dime" Internet movement--the one where you protest the exorbitant cost of The Shrub's inauguration by not spending any money today. I've also had to ban TV because it seems every station in the free world feels it necessary to air every little fucking detail of this ass-lickin' prick's swearing in. It's true...I find it nearly impossible to be objective when it comes to this mother fucker. If he had any fucking class at all, he'd refuse to accept donations for parties and parades and balls (too bad he can't buy a set for himself) out of respect for our soldiers fighting and dying in Iraq. He'd not be so goddamned entitled and smug. He'd not blatantly disregard the humility so needed right now.

But he has no class...sans one. His. Right wing, God fearing, rich Christian white people.

I'm still so disillusioned with my country. Never before in my life have I felt so disenfranchised. Never before have I felt so like an orphan. There is no place in this country for me. There is no gentle, parental leader watching over me. There is no feeling of security or safety or acceptance. I constantly feel as if I'm about to be uprooted and sent to foster care, that my family will be torn apart, that my religion will be attacked, that my very livelihood will be threatened and destroyed. Gay, female, unmarried, Democrat...an outcast, a step-child tolerated because my existence is a reality that people must deal with, not because they want to, but because they have to.

I used to feel that it would be impossible to be sent away, to be corralled and cordoned off from society. I used to feel that what happened under Hitler's regime could NEVER, EVER, EVER happen here. I don't feel that way anymore. I feel scared. I feel exposed. I feel vulnerable. I have been engulfed of late with a feeling of absolute global disconnection. This is new to me on such a level. I have battled all my life with the feeling of separateness...on an intimate, personal scale (with my family, friends, partner). It is a feeling that I am just now getting adept at dealing with. But this thing...this large and looming fear of my country and the people who run it...well, it is sometimes enough to make me fear for my life. It may be dramatic, but so was the Holocaust. It was true nevertheless.

It used to be impossible to imagine, even when I considered that it had happened before, that they could one day come for me, take all my things, send my child away, strip me of my identity and crucify me for being who I am....but it's not hard to imagine anymore. As America becomes more and more fanatically religious, I become more and more of a threat to Her. I become the interloper, the thief, the rapist and the whore. I am the Jew. And George W. Bush, Jr and his regime are the SS.

Something so incredibly hard to believe is often not believed. They thought that about the Nazi Death Camps. "It's impossible! Who would allow that to happen? Who could do that? Why would the entire country go along with something like that? Somebody would stop it!" But it wasn't impossible. It was allowed to happen. Ordinary men did those things. And nobody stopped them for a very, very long time. Because we couldn't believe it was happening.

I would've believed it. I've seen evil. I've seen it fester and spawn. I've seen it move in casual ways through ordinary circles. The Shrub is always talking about "evil doers." He wants to find them. He wants to rid the world of their pestilence. All he really need do is look into the mirror.

I, for one, will not look at his face today. I cannot bear the smile. I cannot bear the cockiness. I cannot abide watching. I'll be in my room, in the corner, curled up in a fetal position with my hands over my eyes.

False Advertsing

2009-06-17T15:26:00.002+10:00

There is a fat, blond American man on my TV, throwing around generally negative comments on consumerism and criticizing the greedy/power-hungry nature of mainstream politicians while wearing Ralph Lauren Polo.

I find this... somewhat contradictory.

Dr. Phil's Playground of Broken Dreams

2009-06-12T12:17:00.000+10:00

The subject of Dr. Phil's show today is failed weddings - counseling poor folks who've been scarred by the shattering of their girl-hood dreams.

This particular female guest had an allergic reaction at her wedding, her face swelled up a little for her photos and she had to leave to go to the doctor so she didn't get to throw the bouquet.
And, horror of horrors, at least 20 people saw her looking ugly.

She cries on stage, a peachy blubbering mess who blames her husband for the ruinous state of their marriage which is all because he failed to tell her she looked ugly on her wedding day.

"Its really hard to get past" she sobs.

THAT IS INCORRECT.

Death of a child, war-like devastation of your home/country, loss of your legs.
These things are hard to get past.

Get some perspective you inane, petty whore.

Dr. Phil,
DO NOT GIVE THEM A FREE WEDDING RECEPTION BECAUSE SHE'S A WHINY SLUT. Find a Katrina victim and give them a kitchen.

Divorce, etc.

2009-04-20T11:46:00.001+10:00

So there's this forum show on SBS, and today they filled the stand with 'under 20's' and asked them how messed up they are due to the their parents being separated/divorced.

Turns out the answer is:
Quite a lot thanks. P.S. I hate my parents.

There are a few major classifications:

1. Dad left when I was too little to remember, haven't really seen him since.
2. Dad left when I was [insert age] and since then its been shit to moderately shit and they communicate through me.
3. Dad left when I was [insert age] and it was fine then 10 years later I found out he was a cunt.

Some of my favorite situations:

'Everything was completely normal and fine, then one morning Dad just drove out of the driveway and Mum's new boyfriend drove in. BAM.
Didn't hear from dad for 6 years.'

'Dad's British and has always missed his family back home, One day he decided to go back to England so he sat us down and said goodbye (in a restaurant...) didn't see him for eight years. Turns out he lives in QLD and never even went back to England.'

'I change houses every Friday, week by week. I thought this didn't really affect me until I went on exchange in high school - my host family asked why I didnt unpack my whole bag and I realised I hadn't upacked my bag properly for eight years.'

'Well I used to see Dad a fair bit, but not since Mum left her partner for this Bikie guy and we moved to Melbourne.'

The extremely irritating and condescending host:
Sorry, your Mum's partner...so how many step-father-figures have you had since your Dad?'

'To be honest, I cant really remember - sorry Mum, if you're watching, but yeah, there've been men through the house constantly, sometimes only for a couple of nights and like, we'll go out for coffee together or whatever,but yeah, I cant really remember their names or anything...'
(Cheers for not being a slut mum.)

Stunned host:
'...so how...what was that like?'

'Well I don't really talk to anyone, cause my Mum's always looking for a new partner, and I don't see my Dad anymore and my sister is older and always out, so I just stay out a lot...which is a bit dangerous because we live in a rival gang area.'
Host:
'...'
'...uh...so who do you trust?"

'I trust myself.'

Two common threads:

'Being the messenger is shit, sometimes you get things wrong, or you forget and then your parents get angry at each other and its your fault...'

'You have to concentrate all the time to make sure you stick to the appropriate parent script - different things for Mum and Dad, and you have to be careful, because if you did something fun with your Dad then you can't come home and be like - oh we had so much fun - because you don't want your Mum to feel bad'

Host:
'That sounds like a lot to carry...that seems like a very strange thing to do.'

Kids (silently):
'Fuck off you condescending whore.'

Oldest Boy:
'Well it makes you grow up pretty quickly. You become good at observing things, you become good at lying, you become good at manipulating your parents into a peaceful situation. You have to be careful 110% of the time and you can't trust anything your parents say because you have to make judgments by combining two sides of a story all the time.'

Kids (every single one):
'Yep.'
Host (who's got nothing):
'...'

We did these things too and it strikes me now as incredibly dumb, the lengths we went to to protect our parents in each others eyes.

A girl:
'How much should they tell you? Well you want to know as much as you can about it, you know, but you don't want to know if like, if your Dad's abusing your Mum. But you want to know as much as you can...'

Host (who's got nothing again):
'...Okay, moving on.'

Something interesting one guy said and a few kids agreed with:

'Yeah, well, you have to say that it was the best thing to do, for them to separate, because that's what they want to hear - they want to think that they're doing the best thing for their kids so they can do what they want to do. So yeah, you tell them and they tell themselves that its better for them to separate than to stay together.'

A girl responded to this with the obviously more common situation in the room:

'Yeah but our house was always full of violence and screaming and stuff, and I'm glad they got divorced. BUT, when I was younger, I always wished we'd be one happy family.'

I distinctly remember wishing (on stars) that Mum and Dad would get back together when I was 7-10 yrs old.

An outspoken girl who is exactly like me seven years ago had this to say:

'But like, you were MARRIED, you shared a bed, a house, kids and your lives and now you can't even have a conversation?! You were in love and got married and now you can't even speak to them or see them in a car across the street? What is wrong with you!? Grow up!'

Now I understand the answers to those questions and I'm sure she will too in a couple of years.

I'm not sure there was a point to this re-hash, other than - young people say 'like' A LOT.
I was just surprised at how damaged the host thought these kids were, when they sound exactly like me and every other child of divorce I know.

A Film Review: Towelhead

2009-01-29T19:38:00.000+11:00

A very good, very uncomfortably confronting film.

Another reason not to have kids: in case you EPICALLY FUCK THEM UP.

Lesson number 1: Talk to your kids about sex.
Lesson number 2: Don't be a racist fuck.

I'd like to force all the 'I'm-not-racist-I-just-think-Asians-are-taking-over-the-country/Arabs-are-terrorists' white, middle class folk to watch this film, maybe shoving painful, beautifully illustrated reality down their throats would wake them up to their own hypocrisy.

Unlikely.

Hetero-Normativism is a Word

2007-08-29T18:31:00.000+10:00

Location: my third year Gender Studies tute.
This week's topic: masculinity.
This week's presenters: Shane and Nick.

There are only three guys in this tute; two straight, one gay.

At last, INTELLIGENT CONVERSATION.

Afterward, i walked to the tram stop with Shane and Nick and we chatted about the importance of gender studies and porn and other stuff....it was MARVELOUS.

Actual, normal, straight, hetero-normative, (good looking) intelligent MEN who understand and even AGREE with all the usual gender studies-type arguments.

Not only do they agree, but they're passionate about the issues - its AMAZING.

Today was a happy day.

Feminism Vs. The Real World

2007-08-23T15:24:00.000+10:00

WARNING: ADULT CONTENT

There is a video clip on redtube entitled "How to shut up an Annoying Woman."
A blond, big-breasted woman starts talking about porn stars getting no respect and how hard they work and then a guy comes and shoves his cock in her mouth.

It was posted on a forum I was part of at uni (its a pretty active social forum with varying degrees of intelligent discussion.)

Excerpts from the forums were then posted on facebook where they garnered comments.

EXCERPT

FEMALE 1: you all disgust me.
MALE 1: I'm pretty sure someone posted this ages ago, still funny
FEMALE 1: only if you're sick.
..........................

FEMALE 2 (ME): you actually disgust me.
I know you all think its a joke, but do have any idea how offensive that video is? The concept of using sex in an aggressive fashion in order to control and subjugate a woman is disgusting. It’s the height of chauvinism and it’s a completely uneducated and egotistical notion. The fact that it’s designed to be comical just makes the whole thing worse.

MALE 2: How do you know if a woman is going to say something smart? She starts off her sentence with "A man once told me..."

MALE 3: In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested

FEMALE 3: you obviously have no comeback to what female 2 has said so have resorted to immature, stupid woman jokes that aren't humorous nor intelligent.
Maybe one day when you're 35, single and desperately lonely you'll look back and wish you'd had a little bit more respect for women, rather than acting like immature, ignorant, chauvinistic assholes.
For a group of people who are supposed to be intelligent and educated, it makes me sick that in 2007 you still think a video like that is funny.
..........................

MALE 1: if you can’t tell the difference between a joke and reality then you will end up as a 35 yo loser... if you understand the difference; you can laugh about it (i.e. cos its not your actual opinion/state of mind)

MALE 4: well guys we all should just hang our heads in shame and weep quietly at the faith of the cute models that are forced by men magazines to pose nude and sound dumb.
Shame, shame, shame.

FEMALE 2 (ME): see and this is where you once again completely miss the point.

If society (white male dominated society) finds jokes that degrade women acceptable then it is condoning the degradation of women as a sex. And yes I can tell the difference between a joke and a serious comment, but I find that you make neither, only offensive remarks that contain no actual opinions or facts.

And maybe I choose to take offence to your immature behavior (and I'm not addressing specific guy anymore) but that is my decision and I would rather take a stand on what I believe in than drink too much beer and just continue to let an unequal society continue with no opposition.

As for cute models who act dumb, if men didn’t, and hadn’t for thousands of years, insist that they have a physical and mental need for sex that is both instinctive and undeniable in its nature then there would be no need for the sex industry to exist in the first place. It is only because men (and I use the term as a collective, encompassing not individuals but men as a group and power across time) refuse the idea that women are not required to service them both visually and physically that it is impossible to eliminate the concept.

I do not deny that other women are involved in the degradation and repression of their own sex, but you have to look at history and realize that there has never been a time when men have not been in power and therefore shaped the ideals and values of the time, therefore creating and enforcing the social norm to which both sexes adhere to.

FEMALE 4:i have no words. You make me sick and appalled

COMMENTS

FEMALE 1: I'm questioning my friendship with a lot of people right now.

FEMALE 5: one word. snap. Well actually I have a lot more words. Nicely done female 2!!! Think you should be the lawyer not me. And nicely backed up by female 3. Tag team!!! booya!!

FEMALE 6: well this exact attitude is why last year on random event a girl had to pretend she was molested before anyone would listen to her about how threatened she felt. And the fact that most of the people were more worried about getting in hot water with the law than her repulses me. Some of you may have noticed I don't hang around as much. I still think the events are awesome and the people mostly good value but I have never found these "jokes" amusing.

Oh and the reason most of the men in the members don't understand how offensive it is because they are mostly under 30 white males... the least discriminated group

FEMALE 4: yes there was a point made about the status quo. I’m glad u posted this here female 2 where intelligent people can discuss how offended they are by it. There have been more things said and I am currently feeling victimized on those forums. It is particularly upsetting when another girl tries to offend it.
Someone actually posted:
Its not rape if the woman wont shut up
I am disgusted and very upset by the comments floating around those forums at the moment and am glad there is at leas support somewhere

FEMALE 2 (ME): I just read the rest of the topic and I don’t even know what to say. I'm speechless. And when find out who female 8 is I'm going to bin smack her. And then I'm going to introduce her to male 8. punishment enough.

Dammit, I was a in a good mood, and now I'm angry and upset all over again.

When you start studying this kind of stuff and you're around people all the time who are actively involved in feminism it becomes so hard to just laugh stuff off. Its totally infiltrated my life, and I'm not sure how well I'm going to cope with the general group anymore.

The random event situation was a disgrace and a perfect example of the boys (and girls) in the group having no idea where the boundaries are. All the older guys set a terrible example and because we're comfortable with it we encourage it. When the younger guys copy them and the jaffy girls are used to the way they act, not to mention strong enough or comfortable enough with them to tell them when they’re crossing the line everything just turns pear shaped.

It really bothers me that they don’t even want to try and understand the arguments. Do they feel threatened? Do they take it as a personal attack?

I'm taking copies of all the conversations about it to my next gender tute; I really need a room full of people, and particularly the guys supporting the arguments. Or at least intelligent discussion of its flaws.

EXCERPT

FEMALE 7: firstly, for those of you who had balls, or perhaps plain ignorance to find that funny, and then admit it in public, don't expect me to speak to you in public again. In fact, you fuckers better watch your backs because you never know when some hairy-legged sheila minion might ambush you with a giant silicone phallus and stick it in the hole that all of this unbelievably sadistic and inane garbage is pouring forth from.

Secondly, let me say with my own peculiar burst of militant spittle, you make me sick and ashamed. That video shows a woman (and lets remember women are people) being physically and sexually assaulted. It is a woman being physically and sexually assaulted. I believe someone said that 'this isn't real' or, 'I would never actually do this in real life"
In what imaginary realm do you think that video was filmed assholes? That is not CGI or animation, that is actually happening to someone.

And as for this 'why can't you just laugh it off, it's funny', I have news for you people. That shit is someone's pain, humiliation, embarrassment, sexual violation and subjugation. It is not, nor will it ever be funny.
In fact, the only pricks who have the audacity to find something like that funny are those who view the world with an essentially sadistic (or masochistic if you're a female) gaze. And I thank god that my sister, and the other girls who posted as they did cannot find it in themselves to laugh at sexualized violence.

Get some fucking therapy you twisted shitheads.

MALE 4: I found the video pretty disturbing.

As for the constant feminist rants about how men have forced women into the situation they are in now, I find that disturbing too. Much less disturbing than this video though. As has been said, the video shows sexual assault - whether it was acted out is beside the point, it's sick

FEMALE 8: Apart from the fact that it was CLEARLY set up cause you can tell she's waiting for it and she repeats herself and whatever...I think it was funny...and I have a vagina...at least I'm pretty sure that’s what it is. Who cares? If they think its funny, let them laugh. I did. It's not like you being mad about it is going to stop that girl having a cock shoved in her face...I think you guys spend too much time being angry.

MALE 5:
Girls if you don't like it then don't watch it. What I find offensive is the serves you are giving. Go and get your arts degree in post modern eroticfembomumbopoliticoeq

ualitarianismness.
and then remember that we with cocks can't give birth. stop asking for equality, what you want is to not be behind, not equal.

FEMALE 8: On prostitution, as far as the sex industry being created because of men, yeah that may be true, but its cause women worked out they could charge for it and men would actually pay...Who is exploiting who? If they had such a HUGE problem with it, they wouldn't do it. I could be making tonnes of money swinging myself around a pole with nipple tassles or lying on my back for a living.... but I don’t really feel like it, therefore I earn crap money at a crap job and cant fund a coke habit...but hey, life goes on.
P.S. As if she couldn't see some dude walking towards her with no pants on...what did she think he was going to do?

MALE 4: by saying that women have no choice in their "current situation", you're perpetuating the problems.
Nowadays, you cannot blame men for the equality situation, because both men and women are a part of society, to the same degree, and we all influence the fate of either gender. You could blame men in the past, because they made up "society" (power) but at the moment power is equal, believe it or not.

FEMALE 9: a guy told me this awful joke, chauvinistic prick that he is...
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing. She's been told twice.

FEMALE 4: what is this constant bullshit about 'blaming men'? No one is saying this, once again if you'd actually look at the intelligent remarks some ppl had made. It is not about blaming men; it is the actual system of patriarchy and oppression.
You cannot tell me after watching a woman sexually assaulted on that video that everything is great and the sexes are equal. The fact that the majority of society are not disgusted by this and actually think its funny is at least one reason that education needs to happen, to bring about change. This is what we're saying, so stop saying we're blaming anyone that is such a naive statement, or excuse.

MALE 4: Guys, seriously. Men and women are NOT equal. We never have been and we probably never will be, but at some point, you really just have to get over it. I think you guys seriously just need to stop ranting and wasting everybody’s time. Welcome to the real world. It is full of people with different beliefs and morals and ideas. Shit happens that upsets people and offends them, but you can’t go nuts every time something like this happens. The world is not going to change and become a happy place full of sunshine just because you aren't happy. Sometimes you just have to put up with it, if things offend you, don't look at them. Quite simple really. You are offending me with your incessant ranting and attacks on everybody else just because you don't agree. We aren't bad people because we hold a different opinion.

RANDOM: it's not rape if the woman won't shut up!

MALE 5: female 4, go get laid
I find your posts annoyingly offensive and antagonistic.
Your suggestion that this video goes so far towards degrading all women and reinforcing oppression completely undermines what the women's movement set to achieve. If you want to be taken seriously then harden the fuck up. I’ve heard you laugh at racist jokes, but suddenly a staged video involving a CONSENTING actress is too much! I’m saddened by your inability to distinguish poor humour and reality.
Now get back in the kitchen.

FEMALE 10: First of all, things of pornographic nature should not be on this forum. Secondly, the majority of girls who have posted have found it offensive and insulting and therefore it shouldn't matter if you find it funny, it should be removed because there are people who are getting upset about it. If it was a video of racist related violence there wouldn't have been this much discussion before it was removed. The thing that I find most upsetting is not the video but the way that people have responded to some people finding it upsetting. We all have the right to an opinion, but if more than one person is this upset about it then maybe people should stop with the ridiculous jokes. You say that we're being antagonistic, but what do you think the jokes and comments are achieving?

FEMALE 11: male 4 had a point, society is as equal is as possible between two very different types of people.

There is porn out there that shows every sick, twisted, sexist, perverted sexual act that exists. Because men and women are different, and their tastes in porn are different (as is their taste for porn at all - men are more likely to watch it) there's not an even spread of all the different kinds... this doesn't mean that there is a fundamental flaw in society and that we need to burn our bras and go on a feminist crusade

COMMENTS

FEMALE 4: here here. When I end up in tears because male 5 tells ME that I’m jamming stuff down their throats it really makes me ashamed of ppl who I thought were my friends. It would be an intelligent debate if any of them knew what they were talking about? I miss gender tutes, and intelligent conversation dammit!

FEMALE 12: Sometimes I wish I had done arts, because if I’d been taught the feminist viewpoint I don't think I’d be the person I am today, and I don't think I’d put up with the people I put up with right now. I really wish I could add an intelligent comment to this, but anything I have to say has already been said. I'm pretty sure I have seen that video, and I think it is staged. If it was real there would be no laughing at all. But as a set up, I just see a woman comfortable enough with herself and her position in life to degrade herself for humour. I am unsure of how right that is, I haven't given it a lot of thought and I wont pretend to know exactly where I stand on it, but I don’t think it's that bad as long as she was consenting and she saw the humor in it. If I am proved wrong and it is proved to be a real video of an unsuspecting woman, then I completely change my opinion. I don't know guys, I’m really interested to read your viewpoints though, so keep posting. Interesting ♥
Oh, random funny/feminist story that sort of fits in this topic - Once I was with a guy, and I was giving him a blowjob, and he cockslapped me. Seriously. He didn't do it as a joke, I could see it in his face, he was seriously enjoying my cheek being slapped with his cock. So I looked incredulously at him and said, "Excuse me?" and he laughed and said "what?" as if he didn't think I’d have a problem with it. Unbelievable. So I got up, got dressed and left. Told him to have fun with his hand. He couldn’t believe I was actually leaving, what an idiot. Anyway, I’ve spoken enough.

FEMALE 8: I'm not pro degradation of women. I've given up caring, and you can smack me all you want, I still don’t agree with you and think this was entirely unnecessary.... as for male 5, I don't appreciate that comment either and think you should watch what you say before you make this personal.
Might I also add, that I thought people would have moved past this sort of internet based bitching in high school. Obviously I was sadly mistaken. In future, if you dislike the things you find on the forums, perhaps you'd be better to stick to your own. This was never a personal attack on my behalf, I just really didn’t appreciate you guys telling me and people I consider to be my friends that they are bad people because they don’t share your opinion. None of us seriously condone sexual assault or violence against women and I'm mildly shocked that you appear to think otherwise.

MALE 5: No one was on a street corner, putting it in your face. After first offense you could have just left that thread alone but you kept going back. You're all big enough an ugly enough to look after yourselves.

FEMALE 8: I keep reading new bits I haven’t read before so excuse the four message long rant, but I understand what you guys are saying about it's not so much the video, its how you were upset about it and people were making jokes and how you think that means they don’t respect you, but that’s not entirely the case. I respect each and every one of you, and I respect the fact that this offends you, but like I said earlier, some people are offended, some people laugh about it. You can't wrap everybody in cotton wool and take away everything that offends people in life.
That’s not how the world works and I'm sorry, but you will be sorely disappointed if you think otherwise. I'm sorry that you guys were offended as I'm sure that was not the intention when the video was originally posted, but I stand my ground in saying that the personal attacks on the people who didn't share your view were unnecessary. I'm not saying some of the jokes and whatnot were appropriate either, but in future, if something seriously offends you, rather than trying to label everyone who doesn't agree with you as a bad person, perhaps merely avoid the situation or thing that offends you...

FEMALE 10:Seeing as none of us uni people really know each other and our histories that well, I don't think any of us should have to explain ourselves as to why we do or don't find this offensive. We all have our reasons and some people may be more sensitive about it than others. This should mean that we should all be more sensitive to the fact that someone may be incredibly upset...

FEMALE 8: I'm not saying you should have to explain your reasons and I have stated that (and I do actually mean this) I am sorry that some people were offended. I don't feel the need to apologize seeing as I didn't post it in the first place, but like I said, you can't wrap everybody in cotton wool and stage an intervention every time somebody is offended by something. I'm offended by the fact that you chose to insult male 5, but I'm not starting a new thread trying to wage a war over that.

FEMALE 10: As I said nothing about male 5, I will bring out the 10-foot pole for that one, but thank you female 8. And I mean that too.

MALE 5: http://www.menatrisk.org/violence/tvviolence.html

MALE 5: btw I posted "it's not rape if she won't shut up"
It’s part of an extensive list that will never be used including:
"It’s not rape it's surprise sex"

In a similar vein
"They’re not crabs, they're pubic friends"

For those of you who are offended there is an extensive list about a guy in the office, if you've laughed at that you're going to hell with me.

FEMALE 8: I'm not fighting over him, merely sticking up for him because I think female 2’s comment
'And when find out who she is I'm going to bin smack her. And then I'm going to introduce her to male 5 punishment enough'
Was uncalled for. I'm not particularly worried about getting smacked, but the bagging my non-boyfriend did kind of piss me off...as for female 12, I think you're hilarious.
'I guess if I could have picked one person to have been pro sexual degradation for women it'd be the person sleeping with male 5. LOL ♥'
Whilst I still maintain that I'm no pro sexual degradation for women, I'll still pay that point. It's pretty funny.

FEMALE 10: Yes male 5, I am well aware of the domestic violence and rape issues against men. I have researched it quite a bit. I'm glad that you're one of the few men that acknowledge that it's a problem, as most don't seem to believe it's true.

FEMALE 6: Not quite sure male 5 posted this... seems to agree with everyone else....

Even if it does focus on women’s violence towards men we are not just saying men against women but everyone...

It says...

"In making the world safe for children, we must say no to all violence, whether comedic or serious. If you're not part of the solution to stop violence in all forms, then YOU are the problem"

MALE 5: so now that I’ve got some cred.

The fact that many have not recoiled when viewing the video I don't believe is correlated to a person's lack of respect for women or a denial of the real world issues. I think it’s largely due to our ability to switch off when watching TV; we have been desensitized to violence. If you want a real gauge of what people really think then enough with the inflammatory posts supposing that we are all monsters. I'm sure if I mention the video of the underage, impaired girl out west who was sexual humiliated, harassed etc you will find everyone reacts with disgust. We don't find that acceptable in real life. Just because we had a bit of a giggle at the "how to shut a woman up" video is not a basis for the demonisation that has occurred.

On a completely different note, why have I been singled out?
I can be quite open, sure. But you all know that. If a girl consents to have fun with me it is at her own informed risk. Problem?

FEMALE 6: but from the same link you post it says that young children who grow up with this "comedy" cannot distinguish what is alright or not. Was it not young males who had grown up with this attitude in the media that committed the crimes against this girl? If we show these things as acceptable in "comedic" situations there will always be a certain amount of people that will perpetuate this in "real life". Real life has been blurred with all the technology around.

And I personally don't think it was right of people to target male 5 because he is one of many who hold a different point of view. But I can understand someone got really upset and went over the line

FEMALE 10: Some of us are however not desensitized to violence, whether it be sexual or not. I grew up without TV until I was 13 and I still have trouble dealing with TV and movie violence. I know I'm a minority, but still. Just because we're desensitized doesn't mean we should condone it.

MALE 5: female 6 you are right about the effects of the media in the development of young minds and from this we can extend the debate to the roles of parents and the degradation of the family unit.

The girl on random event; boy who cried wolf. I don't think it's surprising that blokes would worry about the legal consequences, that mud sticks. I'm happy to say I was nothing to do with it :D. I wonder what would have happened if a bloke felt victimized... where's all that equality when you need it. I’m not condoning anything just pointing out hypocrisies.

Heneway, hopefully everyone is growing a bit. If you find something offensive have the good sense to turn it off. The shit that went on the forums was disgusting. Perhaps instead of going on the offensive people could say, "hey, look, I know its meant to be a laugh but in reality the sexual objectification of women is wrong" blah blah blah and get people to have a think. Just launching in really didn't achieve much.

What I’d like to see gone in the next few days is all the shit here, I think people should have a chance to read it but keeping this record of particularly because of the connections to names would be unwise. A lot of views have not been clearly presented or mangled and if that should have repercussions for anyone that would be unfortunate.

I definitely see the educational value in discussing reactions to the video in a relevant class but in the end we are all friends, I don't think anyone really wants to defame another unnecessarily.

I found comments about me specifically to be particularly offensive, and misleading. I’m sure the hurt wasn't intended but the fact is I’ve been taken out of context and someone who doesn't know me could easily form an opinion of me that does not reflect who I am.

So like I said, hopefully all these posts should be gone in a day or two. We’ve all learned I’m sure and we don't need this unpleasant reminder.

FEMALE 2 (ME): firstly, I don’t need permission to reproduce this stuff. The forums are public and everyone posted under their own names knowingly. Now that the admin has deleted it I am going to make the names of the people involved and the forums anonymous, but I have no intention of deleting it. If you want to delete your own comments go right ahead.

(Obviously) I didn’t realize she was female 8 but it still doesn’t change my opinion about what she said. I like female 8, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be disappointed by the things she said.

I never intended for my comments about the video to be a personal attack, I merely wanted to express my disgust in general and share some alternative views, yes I was fairly forceful but I didn’t think, perhaps wrongly, that anyone in our general crowd was the type to be offended by strong language. As for the post by my sister, I'm not copping the blame for that, we are not one person.

I posted this on facebook because a bunch of my non-uni friends wanted to see it and discuss it. And they have been, via the message function.

The 'bin smacking' comment is obviously a joke, I never intended to physically hurt female 8, but expressing my frustration in terms of threats was a mistake and I'm sorry if it upset you female 8. The joke about introducing you to male 5, whilst turning out to be hilariously ironic, was also uncalled for, although I make no apology to male 5. You 'humorously' slag off people every day without any thought for their feelings and you have never shown any offense at the general 'cunt' jokes and other swipes that people take so I don’t see any reason why you would take particular offence to this one. If people being rude to you and generally using you as a slag pile upsets you then express it, and if you don’t, then don’t expect anyone, including me to stop, because the jokes are funny and no one realizes that you are anything more than amused by them.

What I don’t understand, and another reason why I wanted to move the topic to facebook is why everyone insists on making this into who’s 'offended' about what and who has the right to be. I wanted (and received, in the other conversations about it) intelligent discussion (if somewhat heated) about the perspectives and ideas presented in the excerpt and what shapes these views.

When I say that I'm offended at the very start of the topic I mean I'm offended by the nature of material and I'm upset by the response it provoked. This does not mean that the boys have personally offended me, on the contrary I'm well aware of the type of people I surround myself with at uni and I could have predicted their reaction. And despite the fact that I know they’re not going to take it seriously I feel compelled to present an alternative perspective because its something I feel strongly about and I would like it if the people who I consider my friends were interested enough in my views to read it and actually try and understand the arguments involved.

The generally immature response did nothing more than disappoint me and make me want to try harder to present the views.

While it definitely upsets me that so many of the posters either did not understand or took a different standpoint, that is only because I feel frustrated about the situation and it saddens me that a group of people who claim to be educated, intelligent and accepting and open, feel that way. Not because I took personal offense at their comments.

Having said that, I think it is ridiculous to say that if I am offended by it I should ignore it and stay away. If everyone did that there would be no change. If something you believe it is attacked then you should stand up for it and do your best to create the changes that you desire.

And if every woman (and man) believed that "Men and women are NOT equal. We never have been and we probably never will be, but at some point, you really just have to get over it " then there would never have been any kind of feminist advancement and women would still be simply the property of men.

In terms of sexist jokes:
I find a lot of the sexist jokes funny. I don’t think it is helpful to make humor about a topic taboo, or to take things without a grain of salt. I don’t mind Matt’s inane kitchen jokes, but when sexualized violence is portrayed in a comical manner it really pisses me off. Read above discussion about violence in the media etc. its not the fact that watching it makes people copy it, its about society maintaining that acts of violence and degradation of women are acceptable and therefore continuing the ideas that the sexes are unequal.

Feminism is not the only movement that proposes sexual equality, there is also a masculist movement, and it does in fact exist at uni. I know the judges put the reading group on their as a joke, but they didn’t realize that it actually exists.

The thing about masculists is that they’re usually the same people as the feminists, if you read the literature and think about the ideas you'll realize that neither movement can achieve its goals without the success of the other. They are not opposed. The reason masculism is not as widely supported or publicized is because the reality of the inequality of the sexes currently affects women in a more 'serious' way. Rape of women and domestic violence and eating disorders (and pretty much all the evil in world ;) ) are a much more frequent occurrence than the issues that that men face as an inequal sex.

End rant.